


Three fundamental truths

by JustAnAwkwardLemon



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A lotta unrequited love, Angelica sees literally everything, Basically satisfied but modern, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, everyone loves Alexander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:03:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnAwkwardLemon/pseuds/JustAnAwkwardLemon
Summary: They all knew she was smart, that she was the witty one, but sometimes this didn’t pay off.In which Angelica Schuyler realises that love isn’t a force to be reckoned with, especially when it involves the famed Alexander Hamilton.A modern version of Satisfied.





	Three fundamental truths

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I basically wrote this to procrastinate my bmc fic, so enjoy?
> 
> This is satisfied but set nowadays, and I essentially wrote this in one sitting.  
> I’m sorry the spelling and punctuation may not be the best, and I could’ve written this better, I just wanted to write it before I lost inspiration. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and feel free to leave constructive criticism!

”Give it up for the maid of honour, Angelica Schuyler!”

This was it. This was the exact moment she had been waiting for for a while now. She would give a speech, people would clap and then she could retreat back into a corner, trying to keep the tears from her eyes. 

Everything felt wrong though. Ever since she met Alexander Hamilton, she imagined this wedding differently. 

The venue would be the same, as would the decoration, most likely because Angelica and her sister shared their impeccable taste. 

The food would probably be the same too, as the caterer had proabably just flicked through a catalog of weddings and stabbed their finger at a random one. 

The guest list would the same, because everyone Angelica hung around with were the same people as her sister did. 

One thing would be different. 

The current bride would be the one giving the maid of honour speech. 

Maybe it was selfish, Angelica wondered, wishing this much that Eliza wasn’t marrying Alexander, that she could be instead. In a different world, with a different Angelica, maybe she would be the one marrying him. 

Oh, how Angelica envied that lucky version of herself. 

The problem was, Eliza was happy. That was probably Angelica’s one weakness. It didn’t matter what was happening to herself, as long as Eliza was happy that was enough to almost satisfy anyone.

This really was the happiest Eliza had been for a while, the first time she had smiled in every photograph since she was young. Anybody looking at Angelica would have the same assumption about her as well, which just makes it clear how easy it really is to hide behind a cheesy grin. 

Angelica noticed John Laurens, the best man, isn’t he opposite corner to her, with bubbles of salty liquid pooled in the corners of his eyes. She knew they weren’t happy tears either. 

 

This was her own fault, Angelica had announced to herself on the night of the couples engagement. She had had the chance to change everything. 

 

A bright light shone on her at the precise second a memory ran through her head, the glowing light here reminding her of the flashings lights from a few months ago.

She stepped up onto the wooden stage that creaked underneath her pointed heels.

Alexander’s face simply shone out from within the crowd watching her eagerly. She nodded to him, once, a reminder to herself of what she gave up. A reminder of what, from this day on, she can never have. 

 

“A toast to the groom!” 

 

************

 

”A toast!” Eliza had yelled, clearly not sober. 

“To... to...” She was slurring, her words barely discernible. She looked to Angelica for help. 

“To the Schuyler sisters!” Angelica cried, and the other two grinned. 

They were celebrating Eliza’s birthday, and while she had been reluctant to leave the house at first, she seemed completely at ease after a few drinks. 

They had decided to go to a club which they rarely ventured-it was called ‘Rochambeau’, and was known for attracting unsavoury types. It was an odd choice especially for a birthday, but Angelica had felt a strange need to go ever since she heard the name that evening. 

She turned around to face Eliza and Peggy, but found that they had escaped to the dance floor. She smiled as she saw them, watching their drunken attempts at dancing. 

Instead of joining them, Angelica went to order another drink- she had had hardly as many drinks as the other two and felt an impulse to catch up. Dazed with the stuffy air and pounding music, she was barely aware of the drink she ordered, and just as she took out the coins to pay, a voice stopped her. 

“Here, I’ll get it for you.” 

Angelica turned around, ready to tell the owner of the voice that she was very capable of buying it herself, thank you very much, but was struck silent the moment her eyes met his. 

He was, without a doubt, the most interesting person to look at that she had ever seen. Everything about him screamed handsome, and he seemed like the kind of guy that had broken many hearts- the kind of guy Angelica wasn’t usually into. But this man, he had everything hidden in his eyes. The second her eyes snapped up to meet his, she knew that she had no chance. She could see the danger, the beauty, the  _intelligence-_ and it was all hidden in the depths of his irises. It was as if staring into his eyes you could see right into his soul. It sounded stupidly poetic, but Angelica couldn’t stop the thoughts skipping through her head. She couldn’t even say what the colour of his eyes were- blue? Green? Hazel? They just seemed to be a mix of all of them and more. They even had flecks of gold.

Back into the moment, Angelica inclined her head to him, and the stranger handed the money to the bartender. 

She sipped her drink, waiting for him to speak. 

He seemed to be observing her, struggling for the words he wanted to say. 

“You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied.” He rushed out, and Angelica felt slightly insulted at the insinuation. Sure, she didn’t get out much, but really, there was no need for such uncouth manners!

”I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, you forget yourself.” She stated, beginning to turn away. He grabbed he arm shaking his head.

”You’re like me, I’ve never been satisfied.” 

She couldn’t explain it, but this made sense. 

“Is that right?”

”I’ve never been satisfied.” He finished. 

A rush of emotions hit her as she realised that he understood. He was the first and only person to ever get it, that this world and this life will never be enough to satisfy you. You could have everything, and it would still be...nothing. It’s all so changeable, and single moment can change the entire outcome in unpredictable ways. 

She had to give him something, Angelica had decided. She had to give him a clue of what she was feeling. 

“My name is Angelica Schuyler.”

Could he read behind that, behind the letters and realise that within not five minutes of talking, Angelica already felt like she knew who he was. She wouldn’t call it love- she didn’t yet know his name for goodness sake- but it was as though there was a wire connecting them, dragging them together. 

“Alexander Hamilton.” His words were brief, yet she could feel the answer to her question lying behind the fated words. 

“Where’s you family from?” Her question felt stupid after she said it, and it resonated as out of place, but she just had know all she could about him. 

“Unimportant, there’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait. Just you wait.” He was scarcely talking to her anymore, his eyes unfocused, but she knew what he was saying. She knew because that’s what she’d tell people- more or less anyway. It doesn’t matter about what she’s done before, people should watch her now. She has so much more to do with her life. 

So this is what it feels like, she ponders, this is what it feels like to...match with someone unconditionally, to know who they are after only one meeting. What is this kind of scenario even called? Angelica knew that some may call it soulmates, but that term isn’t right for her. It feels too ridiculous, like a fantasy, and what she had with Alexander after five minutes, is more than people have with their ‘soulmates’ in a lifetime. Call her cynical if you will, but Angelica knew what she was saying. 

It was strange, their whole conversation felt as though it were a dream, and he certainly matched description with any dream character she could make. A voice in her head was screaming at her to go for it, trying to persuade her to give it a chance- no matter how flirty he was. 

He knew he was handsome, she could tell that from a mile away, and he was clearly using it to his advantage. This was the kind of bong that would usually disgust Angelica, but he made her realise that surely, she did such things herself? She used her intelligence on a daily basis, it was how she had made it this far with a stable mindset. 

It was at this moment things changed. 

Firstly, Angelica had realised just how badly she had wanted to take him somewhere, she didn’t care where but she just needed to be far away. Talking with him felt like freedom, like flying, and it felt like an escape from the agonisingly lonely life she had been leading before. 

Then, for some unexplained reason, she turned around. In future she would wonder why. If she hadn’t turned and seen what came next, maybe things would’ve changed. As she turned, her curled hair flicking over her shoulder, she noticed Eliza, who wasn’t dancing with Peggy anymore. Instead, Eliza was staring at Alexander with a heartstruck look in her eyes. 

Angelica knew that look. 

She knew her sister was utterly helpless. 

Helpless for Hamilton, and she wouldn’t be the only one. 

This is when the fatal moment began, where Angelica realised the three fundamental truths, each with a different outcome. She then discovered that each individual outcome was up to her decision. 

 

 

“Where are you taking me?” Alexander asked as Angelica dragged him off.

”I’m about to change your life.” She announced, her sister’s eyes glowing under the flashing lights. 

“Then by all means, lead the way.” His tone was flirtatious, and Angelica rolled her eyes, smiling sadly to herself. 

As insightful as Alexander Hamilton was, he was slow on the uptake. 

 

 

**Number one:**

 

 

First of all, Angelica realised that she loved Alexander more than she could ever imagine. She hated using the word ‘love’, but desperate times call for drastic measures, she decided. 

There was a lot that Angelica knew, starting with the fact that she was the oldest, and the smartest of her sisters, if it had to be said. She was the only one out of anyone who would be able to understand Hamilton, and to satisfy him in ways that not even her sister could. Everyone gossiped about Angelica, especially as she was reaching the age where most would settle down, and start to create a life for herself and her family. Everyone was anxious to see who Angelica would pick, who she would want to have for the rest of her life. 

If she made the choice to keep Alexander for herself, what would people say? He’s penniless, she could tell that from his somewhat bedraggled look and and the shame locked away in his stance. That being said, she didn’t care about the money he possessed, that didn’t make her want him any less. 

Although, there was a turn off about him. Alexander must know who she is, after all, Schuyler was a distinct name in America. Anyone with a set of ears knew about senator Philip Schuyler,  and about the fortune his family held. Maybe that was why Alexander seemed so intent on knowing Angelica.  

Maybe this was why she let him go.

 

 

Eliza was grinning madly, her face radiant even in the dark.

”Elizabeth Schuyler, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She said, the smile evident in her voice. 

”Schuyler?” Alexander wondered aloud. 

Angelica swallowed and forced a smile. “My sister.”

She only then spotted the scowling face of a boy over Alexander’s shoulder.

 

 

**Number two:**

 

 

Her second realisation was unexpected to Angelica, as she only noticed it after a short while. 

The second truth, of course,  was John Laurens. 

Throughout her entire conversation with Alexander, in fact, throughout her entire experience at the club up to that moment, John Laurens had been watching Alexander like he was afraid to let him leave his line of sight.

Any random person would probably come to the conclusion that he was just an overly-protective friend. However, Angelica saw behind this miserable facade. 

John Laurens was clearly in love with Alexander Hamilton, and he was absolutely terrible at hiding it. To make it worse he seemed so heartbroken at every word Hamilton said to Angelica.  

Angelica realised that she could tell Hamilton this. In fact, she could probably convince him that dating Laurens wouldn’t be a terrible idea. If she told him to, she was certain Hamilton would notice the glances Laurens threw his way. 

She didn’t know Laurens, but she knew of him. He was part of a group- the revolution or something ridiculous like that. She was also aware that they were all close, and loved each other a great deal-platonically however. But she now had realised that Laurens loved Hamilton, and from what she heard at least, he wasn’t far off from feeling the same. She could make him realise how he felt, abandon her own feelings and push Alexander towards Laurens. She was almost sure it would work. Plus, she had seen how Hamilton looked back at Laurens. Only an idiot wouldn’t see something slightly more than friendship there. 

There was another problem with this however; maybe she just felt sorry for John. Maybe she knew what it was to have (mostly) unrequited feelings, and this was her mind’s subconscious way to help somebody else out of it. As nice as if would be to make John happy, she doubted he would be if he found out she was doing it only out of pity. 

There was another reason she didn’t stop here. 

 

 

“Thank you for everything you have done for our country.”

Trust Eliza to already know his successes.

”If that’s what it took for us to meet then it was worth it.”

This was it. Her final choice, her final chance to change things.

“I’ll leave you to it!”

 

 

**Number three:**

 

 

Elizabeth Schuyler stood in the way of anything else now. If Angelica hadn’t turned around and seen the helpless look in her little sister’s eyes, things would be different. But Angelica knew what her sister was thinking, and she couldn’t just forget it. She would feel guilty for the rest of her life.

Angelica didn’t have to wait for Eliza to tell her how she felt about Hamilton- even though she did so that night. Angelica knew Eliza like she knew her own mind, or maybe even better. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her. Eliza was one of a kind, you would never find anyone as trusting of loving. She was the perfect person for Hamilton in many aspects, as her calm flame would soothe his raging fire, rather than spark it further as Laurens would’ve done. 

If Angelica told Eliza the truth, if she said how much she loved Alexander from the moment she saw him, then she knew what would happen. Eliza would give him up in a heartbeat. She would hide any feelings she had. 

She would say that she was fine, but she’d be lying. 

So Angelica knew that she couldn’t hurt her sister like that. She couldn’t keep Hamilton for herself. She loved her sister more than anything in her life, and no matter what it was Eliza would always come first. 

 

 

That night, Angelica and Peggy left the club without Eliza, and the revolutionary set (or whatever their name was) left without Hamilton. Nobody knew where they went, but from then on they were rarely apart. This caused the two groups to merge, and in a regular person’s eyes Angelica was fine, happy, satisfied. 

 

Angelica was faced with a few moments of weaknesses in the coming weeks. One was with Thomas Jefferson. She saw his lustful stares, and they made her feel slightly sick, principally when they were paired with how James Madison looked at Thomas. The world seemed to be full of unrequited love at that moment.

She had been in another club, accompanied with all her friends, including Hamilton. He had been telling her exactly how much he hated Thomas Jefferson, and while she didn’t plan it, this sparked an idea in her head.

That night, she and Thomas became closer than her sober mind would’ve wished. Needless to say, Alexander wasn’t very happy. Everybody heard about it, and that made her feel disgusted with herself and what she’d done, just to get Hamilton’s attention. 

 

What nobody saw, was her moments of weakness at night, when she fantasised about Hamilton’s miraculous eyes. About what she could’ve had. The only thing that kept her sane was remembering that now, she still had Hamilton. Maybe if wasn’t in the way she wanted, but she had managed to keep Alexander’s eyes in her life. 

 

 

She was the one who saw Alexander’s eyes flicker when he and Eliza announced their engagement. Angelica was shocked that they were already getting married, as they only all known each other for about half a year. Then again, she wasn’t one to talk- she had decided she loved Hamilton after five flimsy minutes. The point was, Angelica was watching Alexander when Eliza was showing everybody her ring, and Angelica was watching everyday, at how unsettled Hamilton looked at the mention of a wedding. 

 

Angelica knew, deep down, that Alexander Hamilton would never be satisfied.

She knew also knew that now, neither would she.

 

************ 

 

Seats were rustling, and a heavy silence filled the air. 

How long had Angelica been staring at the dusty wooden stage?

She looked up, her eyes flooded with tears. She saw Eliza staring at her, obviously panicked, and Alexander watching her with a knowing look in his eyes. Of course he knew. Of course he understood exactly what had been going through her head. 

She turned her head slightly, and met the eyes of John Laurens. From the look he gave her, he clearly understood too. Angelica nodded to him, and he smiled sadly back. 

Finally, she looked up, and faced the crowd, her head high. 

“To the groom!” She all but cried, well aware she was repeating her previous words, “To the bride!”

”From your sister, who’s always by your side!” She watched Peggy hug Eliza from the side, and saw Alexander kiss Eliza gently on the cheek. Angelica faltered, frozen where she stood. 

“To your... your union...”

A hand clapped on her shoulder. 

“To the revolution!” Of course, it was John Laurens, who grinned at her in his attempt to be cheerful. 

“And The hope that you provide!”

She locked eyes with Alexander as she and John finished her speech.

“May you always be satisfied.”

His eyes widened, and while Angelica thought it was petty, she enjoyed seeing him feel slightly guilty.

Angelica knew that while Eliza would be happy as Alexander’s wife, Alexander himself would never be satisfied.

 

 _I will never be satisfied._  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
